Best Reservation for Women

The public transports for Mumbai are Local trains and Best buses. Democratic republic government of India has a policy of Reservation for all the public domain for deprived class. Women are considered to have disadvantages as dominated by men; the government has introduced reservations for women in local trains and best buses. This provides a general convenience to all women, who face problems while travelling at peak time. Mostly men have not at all any problem of having reservations for women. But certainly they are not so happy with the situation. The main arguments are

- Women should occupy the reserved seats first.
- In case if no reserved seats are available then go for general seats.
With these arguments, it is unacceptable for them that women can occupy on general seat if the reserved seats are vacant. Further, the situation worsens if the guys are standing and there are still vacant seats for women and few women are occupying seat in general.

On the other hand, gals don't give a damn what men's are thinking. They find seats easily and of course they don't mind.

I don't want to argue on either side of debate. But I feel people often miss the few points in this debate and associate too much with personal experience.

The fundamental law for reservation is:

The quota is limited for the people who are addressed, and the remaining positions are for all people.

If we look closely to the above statement, the second part is more interesting, "for all", that means all the people including the one who are qualified for the quota.

But few men feel that the system is discriminating and find women are taking undue advantage of the situation.

My points are:

- If someone wants to opt out for quota, then it is their fundamental right not to take advantage of quota system.
- In case, if someone see the general seat, then they should occupy it first, so that the other girls who will enter after the bus is full will get the reserved seat. So girls have higher social concerns oven guys.
Arguments on either side may not satisfy all people unless we have the equal resources with human population.

Trauma

Trauma

Let me introduce myself. I am a well settled software engineer in a fast growing software firm, happy with work. I have achieved most of the things, say job, flat, bike, friends, girl friend, everything you say it. I have created my own world, my passion and my love. You may find this as rosy cozy picture perfect. So far so good. Then where is the problem, means I had problems in my life, one can say a bad phase. But I had gone through it. I simply amazed how I had handled those situations and how strong I was. But today I feel somewhat helpless for the situations I am in.

Four years before, with lot of struggle and hard work I cleared my engineering. Best part was I scored enough to sell myself in job market. It was difficult but not impossible to survive in this market. Eventually did C-DAD and joined a reputed software company as an s/w engineer. Then I had bought a flat at hometown. Also by the time developed relationship with a very sweet girl, my own love. Again so far so good. Simple right? I look like a happy person in each perspective. I should be happy. But I am not.

First time it strikes me when I got clear my final year B.E. exams. I had done lot of hard work and had devoted much time in it. But when I saw my name in the list of passed candidates I feel nothing. I was just relaxed. Ok, I have cleared it, finally. But I was not excited, not happy but only relaxed. I didn’t feel this thing before. This was an end of one phase of my life, but still I was just relaxed. A strange thing, but I told myself by saying, hey man you are optimist and always looking forward type. Hence, now onwards you just look forward and forgot the entire thing you did, mostly achievements. I followed my inner voice.

After a year I got a job, very good job indeed for me. That job was the solution for my family’s financial problems. I was supposed to be happy that day. But the same feeling haunted me. I just felt like calm and comfortable. Not a feeling of joy or happiness. Something was missing.

The best part in my life came next. I was in love. I felt love for first time to anybody outside my family. She was the best, suited me very well. With lots of ups and downs in our relationship everything is going well. By the time I am also doing well and career path is wide open full with all exciting opportunities. Still at this point again I am not feeling anything. No sense of delighted happiness. I feel like a blank slate.

I am in pursuit of happiness. Where can I find it? That is the question.

Pursuit of happiness begins:

What is wrong?

For that I need to ask myself a question. What I am considering as my achievements are actually my achievements or something else.

I found this question interesting. Whatever I achieved that was the things that I was told by someone, directly or indirectly. These may be or may not be the one’s which I want to seek. But I was told to do so. Hence the feeling of owning the achievement is actually not exactly mine. The achievement is important for me also, but I was not the one who wrote it for me. I was not the owner. I was the carrier. I was the carrier to fulfill my society’s wishes.

So this went wrong. I am not owner. I don’t own anything, but I am the transporter. Acting as a carrier of someone else’s dream.

Why it is so?

This is because I am living according to people’s expectations from me. These are the expectation which I can feel, nobody tells me about it, but it is my duty to sense it right and act accordingly. I am supposed to fulfill it. Hence I got lost in somewhere between and got the feeling that something is missing. Now this missing feeling is haunting me all the time, ask me, to do something different.

But now even if I feel that I have come closer to solution I don’t really know what to do. From last few days I am trying, but whenever I tried, I found myself directed by the expectation. I feel like expectation n what I really want are mixed and lost somewhere. Now I feel that others expectation is what I really want. This is important. I have lost my identity. Now I am confused what to do next?

I have no solutions at this point of time but will definitely search for them.

Few more thoughts - Friendship

In my life I came across several kinds of people whom I call as friends. Certainly few of them are girls as well. Before writing further, I want to tell that what friendship meant for me.

“I think Once in a while you meet someone, and soon you both discover the two of you are truly something special to each other. You share your thoughts and feelings so relaxed, so openly and right away you know your friendships truly meant to be.”

May be friendship can’t be explained in few words or it doesn’t need explanation, but still not every person in your contact become your friend.

When I have made friendship with girls I wonder I ever thought of our society. Yes, it might be the case of male female relationship has no respect n some sort of same crap. I never bother of such unethical thinking of our ethical society. For me friendship means friendship. It must be same for everyone. The only relationship exist which does not consider any boundaries.

Despite friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art (a painting of Mona Lisa or Michelangelo’s work doesn’t have a single penny ka meaning to anybody. Still these are the costliest monuments in the world) ... It has no survival value (if it is not there at all it wont affect any body); rather is one of those things that give value to survival (it is just precious).

Friendships begin because, even without words, we understand how we felt.

Just stop for a moment and think:

Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people look back on at the end of life and number as their most sacred experiences. Simple and pure.

Once I said this to one of my female friend:

"I can drops mine plans when you're in trouble, shares joy in your accomplishments, feels sad when you're in pain. I always encourage your dreams and offer advice--but when you don't follow it, me will still respect and love you. That’s it. It’s me. I will always be like this. Sometimes I wonder how our relationship flourished. We had no expectations, demands or any other things like this from each other. Or this was the reason behind? Yeap ! Might Be! "

The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered companionship a permanent success.

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.

When you honestly ask yourself which person in your lives means the most you, you will often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with you in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with you in an hour of grief and sadness, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with me the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.Yes , but with this I dont mean to say that friends are extremely important, but for me they are part of my life but not can't be mistaken as my life. It may be the much hypes word , hence most of the time I tend not to define anyone as my friend. Friends are special, they will be with you throughout life.

First Day

Today is my first day to write in any blog. Nothing special, as software engineer I usually come across different kinds of blogs everyday. But today I observed something unusual. Something that had just happened and inspire me to start writing blog.
When I joined my 1st company (actually still working with the same), we guys always finds nice chicks around us. Few of us came across one girl, who was looking wise kind of OK. The things goes on, few of us got the chance to be work with her. But what the luck, everybody rejected her on the ground that she has no brain. Beautiful but dumb. :( .
Days went on; meantime I even forgot her name. But then one day (today) I came across her blog. Voyla ! The same girl. But she wrote magnificently. She was kewl , really ! :) ...
This is it, we always tends to take First impression as the last one. It is okay in interviews or some places like that. But it doesn’t hold well in real life. Life is like this only.
People say I am not expressive. Yes, I never expressed myself. May be it is true. I always keep smiling. But it was not true always. Obviously I am not perfect; I do have 13 grey hairs :).
I feel that we need to understand /gain from small things. Today unknowingly I have understood something, that you need to give chances to others. And then other will follow.

Understanding is must , must for any relationship.